Welcome to the next edition of Jimbo’s Mailbag! At Salt City Hoops, we know that covering a losing team without any humor can be dreary. As such, we decided to add a little bit more levity to our site via Jimbo’s unique outlook on the world of Jazz basketball. Jimbo, by virtue of being recently featured in the Deseret News, is now the world’s most famous Utah-based basketball mailbag artist. Interested in submitting a question to Jimbo’s mailbag? Email it to Jimbo at email@example.com or tweet @JimboRudding to appear.
Q: How awesome is it that you get to be the Jimbo Mailbag guy?
Thanks for the question, Jimbo! It IS awesome. It is pretty cool to see who out there “gets” me enough to continue reading this thing. I know I can be a little off the wall sometimes, but…so was Michael Jackson. In fact, he even named one of his albums “Off the Wall” and look where he is today! Actually, don’t look. Better yet, ignore all of that.
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for sending in your questions and for reading the mailbag every week. Hopefully 2015 will be full of laughs and Jazz wins and a Jimbo halftime show and a Jazz championship. If it isn’t full of those things, then maybe we should all take some time for self-reflection.
Seriously though, thank you everyone.
Q: Can you explain how Pitbull is famous, because I still don’t understand?
I’m actually excited about his fame. I think he will bring alopecia awareness to new levels.
The way I explain his fame is simple—he can talk rhythmically in a very pleasant and somewhat appealing way. Some of the other reasons he is famous include:
My therapist says it isn’t healthy to expect all people to like the things I like and do the things I do. Trust me, I expected this of pretty much my whole middle school. In my defense though, Bon Jovi was SO underrated as a musician at the time and all those metal-head stoners needed some culture.
Q: How are you going to celebrate when Jimmer actually gives you that elusive RT?
I have a feeling that the RT is coming any day. Could be, who knows. Listen to me! I sound like the white guy on West Side Story. You know, the one who only cares about working at the soda fountain and singing love songs in an extremely dark and damp alley. Not the blonde one in the brown corduroys, the one with the black hair and big teeth who…never mind.
Ever since Jody Genessy’s article a couple weeks ago, I can almost taste the Jimmer RT like it’s one of those delicious BBQ Bacon Blue burgers that you can only get at the Smokehouse on Center Street in Orem (since I mentioned this I get a free t-shirt).
Just like people make bucket lists, I too have made a list of things that I will do when Jimmer retweets me. Here, for the first time ever on the interwebs, is some of my “JIMMER RT’d ME!” list:
Jimmer is a saint for not blocking me and also for putting up with this nonsense.
Q: What do you think of Patrick Christopher so far? Any chance he could be an All-Star this year?
Great question! The first time I saw him come into a game, I said, “Wait, isn’t that the ‘SHOW ME THE MONEY’ guy?” But then my grandma was all, “No, you’re thinking of Cuba Goulding Juniors.” Well, being corrected like that during a Jazz game is NEVER a good thing. It got me pretty riled up and things escalated into a shouting match and grandma came after me with a VERY heavy three-hole punch. Luckily, grandpa was there to hold her back and tell her to count to ten.
After the Jazz shut down Alec Burks for the season, Coach Snyder began giving Christopher some minutes to see what he can do. What I like most about him so far is that he isn’t timid at all on offense. If he’s open, he will most-likely take a shot. Hopefully his defense will come around and we can all enjoy watching him light it up for the West in the 2014-2015 All-Star Game.
Q: Can you prove you are really not the Jazz Bear? You walked by me once and you smelled just like a sweaty forest dweller.
Besides having a GREAT Twitter handle, it looks like you have also had the pleasure of being in my presence when I smelled like a sweaty forest dweller. The reason that is amazing is because I have only smelled like that four times in my life, so you had to be around me during one of the following three experiences:
If none of this sounds familiar to you, then I’m afraid you are confusing me with someone else. Sorry.
Thanks for the questions!