Welcome to the next edition of Jimbo’s Mailbag! At Salt City Hoops, we know that covering a team without any humor can be dreary. As such, we decided to add a little bit more levity to our site via Jimbo’s unique outlook on the world of Jazz basketball. Jimbo, by virtue of being recently featured in the Deseret News, is now the world’s most famous Utah-based basketball mailbag artist. Interested in submitting a question to Jimbo’s mailbag? Email it to Jimbo at firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet @JimboRudding to appear.
Q: Was taking my season ticket money and using it as a down payment on a new car a good choice or a poor one?
Ugh, if there’s one thing I hate more than Jazz losses, it’s Jazz losses at home in the good old Vivnit Solutions Home Smarts Arena. The Jazz lost 13 games at home all of last season. They have lost 13 this season with 9 more home games to play. That’s… not ideal.
So, you have to look at season tickets from different angles. If you love to watch NBA games and aren’t emotionally affected by Jazz losses, then I don’t think you’d worry about “wasting your money” by purchasing season tickets. However, if you contemplate kicking animals or trying to build a time machine to go back to when the Jazz were good every time the Jazz lose, then I would probably advise you to save your money.
Props to you for being financially responsible enough to buy season tickets! Unless, of course, you were financially irresponsible and bought them with a credit card. You can do what you want, but it would be terrible to still be paying for this season’s tickets in the year 2020.
Q: In your opinion, who would win a hot dog eating contest between Raul Neto and Tibor Pleiss?
My heart tells me that Tibor could put away a lot of hot dogs. Just look at the guy. He’s ginormous! It actually wouldn’t surprise me if we found out that he hides a couple of hot dogs in his knee pads.
Not that Raul isn’t capable of downing a bunch of hot dogs; no one’s saying that. It’s just that Tibor is from Germany, the land of hot dogs and he has a lot more stomach to put them.
Q: Who has the worse point guard rotation, the Utah Jazz or Sam Houston State?
Wow! Judging from the amount of Shelvin Mack and Derek Fisher questions I got this week, I would say Jazz fans are NOT happy with the point guard situation.
To be honest, I don’t blame you/them/us. It has been an awful year for the Utah Jazz point guard spot. Don’t get me wrong, I REALLY like what Neto is turning into. He’s scrappy on defense and his offensive game just keeps getting better. However, Mack and Burke have been less than good.
I didn’t know the situation at Sam Houston State, so I did some research (I read half of an article) and it looks like both their point guards had season-ending injuries right after the season started and were forced to start one of their wings at the one position. That got me thinking, is Alec Burks the best point guard on the Jazz right now? Maybe that’s another question for another mailbag?
Q: What are the chances of getting Brevin Knight back in a Jazz uniform?
I understand the frustration with the point guard position right now (see the answer above). I know you’re question was a little tongue in cheek, but Brevin Knight did a lot of good things while playing for the Jazz. For instance, there was that one game where he dribbled fairly well. Oh, and that other game where his jersey stayed snuggly tucked into his shorts.
The problem is, the Jazz are really good at holding onto bad-to-mediocre guards. I know John Stockton was the best point guard to ever play the game and we were spoiled for 20 years and yadda yadda yadda, but we’ve had some real stinkers on our team in the past. Just look at this list:
And then there was Jim Les, the worst of the worst. Don’t even get me started on that guy.
So, what do we do about it? Nothing. We’re fans, not members of the Jazz front office. We have absolutely no say in who gets picked or signed. We just work our 9-to-5’s and pretend all happiness and meaning hang on whether or not our favorite team throws an inflatable ball into an iron circle well. Duh, why would you even ask that?
Q: How should I refer to Shelvin Mack from now on? Shelvin Whack, Shelvin Hack, Shelvin Crap or just call him Turnover Mack?
I always go with either “Melvin Snack” or “Miggity Miggity Miggity Mack.” They have both worked well for me.
Q: What’s your take on Derek Fisher’s “my side of the story” piece? I mean, maybe we misjudged him?
I read the “piece,” and I thought it really was a piece. No, we didn’t misjudge him. I’ll leave it at that.
Q: So, Derek Fisher’s memoir in Sports Illustrated this month is titled, “Truth.” Seriously, that’s the title. What should other NBA players title their memoirs? Enes Kanter’s should be, “The Trouble with Being Handsome.”
I like this question. In fact, more NBA players should write memoirs. It’d be very interesting to hear all the craziness that happens when young, giant humans live in big cities and are given millions of dollars to play a kid’s game.
Here is a list of NBA players and what their memoirs should be titled:
Thanks for all the questions, you guys! I guess last week the internet was down in parts of Juab County because of all the Jimbo’s Mailbag site visits. Way to go! It’s all thanks to you! Remember to tell your mailman and any cashier you may engage in conversation about the mailbag. Do it while putting on WAY too much lip balm. Make it weird.