Jimbo’s Mailbag – How to Make Summer League Better

Photo by Melissa Majchrzak/NBAE via Getty Images

Here at Salt City Hoops, we’re occasionally accused of being too analytical. Basketball is a fun sport, they say, and we’re being too objective about it. Jumbo Rudding, on the other hand, is not analytical. He is zany. He is infamous for his out-of-left-field basketball jokes and opinions. We’re thrilled to have him contribute a mailbag each week on Salt City Hoops. Interested in submitting a question to Jimbo’s mailbag? Email it to Jimbo at mailbag@saltcityhoops.com or tweet @JimboRudding to appear.

Q: Had the struggle last night where I needed to go to the bathroom, but wanted to sleep more. Thoughts on Jazz Summer League?

@BardenPembleton

I have that struggle every night. I’ve decided that once you hit 30 years old, your bladder isn’t as capable of making it through the night. I’m actually thinking about learning how to insert my own catheter. I’ll let you know how that goes. Who knows, if I get good at it, I may end up teaching a community ed class.

Here are my thoughts on the Utah Jazz Summer League:

• Exum looked stronger and less timid about going to the rim … right up until the moment he turned his ankle going to the rim. Hopefully he doesn’t develop “Basketball Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,” not to be confused with “Basketball Pre Traumatic Stress Disorder,” which is what he had last year.
• Kevin Brunk was just OK. His footwork has improved, but there were complaints from players and coaches that he would burp and then blow it in the opposing player’s faces. Classic junior high move.
• Rodney Hood wasn’t quite the “Prince of Threes,” but he was solid. He plays like a veteran already. Shut him down until preseason.
• The WORST part about summer league was when Dell Schanze somehow broke in and started flying his paraglider around the arena. Even if he was throwing out free guns to the crowd, that doesn’t give him the right to disrupt play.
• Chris Johnson looked comfortable. I’m not sure he is the best option for a shooter, but he is definitely one of the cheapest.
• Jarome Chassendorf, number 189, was not good. I was super confused when he took off his shoe and threw it at the shot clock for no reason.
• Cooley is a beast … a Summer League beast.
• Bryce Cotton probably won’t make the team … and that is a bummer.
• I’m not really sure how Dick Norse even made the summer league roster. He has to be like 85 years old now, right? I mean, sure he hit those four three-pointers in a row, but those were wide open shots. He SHOULD make those.
• Morris Frump was better than I thought he’d be. His third arm wasn’t even a distraction at all. Brian Zettler did a good job of strapping it to his side as per summer league rules.

Q: What would you do to improve the “Fanfest” experience before Utah Summer League Games?

@urzishra

Good question! I think the Utah Jazz do a tremendous job in getting the fans excited for games and events. However, I have had some time to think about how I would spice things up a little. Here is a list of ways the Jazz could get fans even MORE excited for games and events:

• Have an event where they rename the arena “Jordan Pushed Off Arena.”
• Bring Jim Les in to sign autographs, but put his autograph table across the street in the old Dee’s Restaurant parking lot so no one sees him.
• Maybe have a coffee-drinking contest with David Locke?
• Milt Palacio in a dunk tank.
• Bike taxi races.
• Freestyle bike taxi contest.
• A game show-type thing where you try and guess if a person is someone from your childhood you haven’t seen in 20 years or a Jazz ticket scalper.
• A booth where you get to try on Thurl Bailey’s suits.
• An auction for Al Jefferson’s old bed.
• Gordan Giricek look-alike contest.
• A booth where you put on a pair of Greg Ostertag’s old shoes, spin around ten times, and then throw an ice pack at a cardboard cutout of Jerry Sloan.
• Pistol Pete’s Discount Pistols booth.

Q: Was Tibor Pleiss hanging out at the Summer League? Would it be cool chilling with the gang on the 5^th row as a groupie?

@JZDecker174

I didn’t see him, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t there. In fact, if he wasn’t 7’11”, I’m not positive I would recognize him anyway. In fact, whenever his name is mentioned I always just picture someone who looks like Andris Biedrins’ little brother, which is kind of scary because last time I saw Andris Biedrins he was downtown holding a pair of those giant scissors you use to cut ribbons for special occasions and holding a sign that said, “FREE HAIRCUTS!”

I think hanging with the Jazz players would be pretty fun. They’d probably all be pretty weirded out by how many times I suggested they all come over to my place to watch Home Improvement (Season 2) and eat homemade ice cream after the game. If that didn’t bug them, then they’d REALLY hate it when I started trying to organize carpools by saying things like, “OK, I can take three in my Jetta. Alec says he can take four. Elijah, how many can you take?”

Q: Just spitballin, but 12^th pick this year, no moves in the offseason. Am I crazy? Jazz have a real shot at pick 13-14 next year!? Yes!

@SpamIsDelish

I’m still not sure about this. I think there’s a real chance that the Jazz could be fighting for the 7^th or 8^th playoff spot. However, I think we are a Gobert/Hayward/Favors injury away from being in the high lottery next year too. You never know what could happen, which is exactly what my mom said when I was nine right before I tried to jump off our roof holding the patio furniture umbrella.

Q: How long do you give the broadcast team before they mess up Trey, Trey, Burke, and Burkes on the call? New nicknames?

@Mare_Bear_Baum

Yeah, probably half a quarter or so. In their defense, that would get confusing pretty quickly. Maybe that’s why Bolerjack started calling Burks “Magic Man” and Burke “2-for-19.” I’ve always thought Burke’s nickname was kind of mean.

Here’s a couple of alternate nicknames for every player:

Rudy Gobert – Tall guy

Dante Exum – Heguaaah (sound he makes when breathing heavily through his mouth)

Trey Burke – Lil’ guy

Derrick Favors – Party Faves, Kinda Tall Guy

Rodney Hood – Prince of Threes, Hot Rod

Joe Ingles – Mate

Trevor Booker – The Librarian

Alec Burks – Copperfield, Alec Burps (this one only works if he burps a lot)

Elijah Millsap – Lil’ Bro

Chris Johnson – Lefty

Jack Cooley – Beast, Summer League

Raulzinho Neto – Lil’ Haul

Grant Jerrett – Who?

Trey Lyles – Big Lie (not to be confused with Derek Fisher’s nickname)

Olivier Hanlan – Olive Hands

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That’s all I got this week, friends! Thanks for the questions! Call me sometime and we’ll plan a game night this week.