Jimbo’s Mailbag – How to Start the Wave

January 30th, 2015 | by Jimbo Rudding
Fans can be frustrated by the rotating cast of 10-day contracts. But Jimbo asks... would you rather be the Nets?(Photo by Melissa Majchrzak/NBAE via Getty Images)

Fans can be frustrated by the rotating cast of 10-day contracts. But Jimbo asks… would you rather be the Nets?(Photo by Melissa Majchrzak/NBAE via Getty Images)

Welcome to the next edition of Jimbo’s Mailbag! At Salt City Hoops, we know that covering a losing team without any humor can be dreary. As such, we decided to add a little bit more levity to our site via Jimbo’s unique outlook on the world of Jazz basketball. Jimbo, by virtue of being recently featured in the Deseret News, is now the world’s most famous Utah-based basketball mailbag artist. Interested in submitting a question to Jimbo’s mailbag? Email it to Jimbo at mailbag@saltcityhoops.com or tweet @JimboRudding to appear.

Q: What’s your opinion of the wave at sporting events, and particularly Jazz games? 

– @Zachw56

Glad you asked! I attend at least three or four Oakland Athletics baseball games a year, so I’ve seen the wave up close many times. In fact, the wave was invented in Oakland in 1981 so… go ahead and put that in your back pocket!

Honestly, if I’m at a Jazz game and a team calls a time out, there’s nothing I want more than to stand up and scream my head off. It is usually rage-filled screams directed towards Allen Handy and/or one of the elderly ushers, and I have to tell ya, it’s VERY cathartic.

One time I went to a Jazz/Lakers game at the ESA and the Jazz weren’t playing well and some intelligent young man decided it was a good time to start the wave. I was so upset by the Jazz’ play that I decided once the wave got to me I was going to throw what was left of my nachos into the air as high as I could and hope that some of it landed on nearby Laker fans. The outcome was a beautiful, beautiful thing. 1 I wish you could have all been there to see it.

It’s actually pretty amazing that we’ve been entertaining ourselves with the wave for over 30 years. I guess it’s good, harmless fun and if that’s what we need to relieve the stress of real life, I say go for it. However, if the game is live and I’m watching, the last thing I want someone in front of me to do is stand up and scream. So, wait until a time out or a break in the game.

Maybe instead of the wave, the Jazz could show just random people on the jumbotron and try some of these ideas:

  • Who can toss their baby the highest?
  • Like a Kiss Cam, but a Breastfeeding Cam.
  • Check out the guy wearing a jersey without a t-shirt underneath!
  • What nationality is that family?
  • Shake your keys and then swallow one.
  • Show your Albertson’s card! OK, now explain why you carry an Albertson’s card.
  • So you think you weigh as much as James Earl Jones?

 

Q: Not to be persnickety, when I watch most NBA teams, they aren’t playing many guys on 10 day contracts. Can we skip that step?

– @the6bees

I assume you mean skip that step in the rebuilding process? If that’s the case, then yes, we CAN skip that step! Unfortunately, we would have to give up a lot of draft picks along the way and eventually we would become the Brooklyn Nets, who have Kevin Garnett, Joe Johnson, and zero draft picks until the year 2525.

I understand it’s a little frustrating though bringing in guy after guy and watching them frantically try to do something productive on the court with the little time they are allotted. It usually turns into getting stuffed at the rim or throwing the ball off the back of someone’s head, which causes the crowd to yell out things like, “Send him back down!” or “That’s nowhere NEAR how LeBron does it!”

One cool thing about all the 10-day guys the Jazz have signed this year is how they are all pretty similar players, even down to their names. Think about it–Patrick Christopher, Elijah Millsap, Chris Johnson, Johnson Millsap, Chris Christopher, and Elijapher Misslepants.

Life is pretty nuts sometimes.

 

Q: Like my zip-up PJ’s with the missing trap door, the Jazz seem to be missing that one piece to make them great. What is it?

– @Steeleman77

This is awesome! I had a conversation with @SCampbellSBN this week on this same topic. I asked it a little differently though. I asked what position he would say is the Jazz’ biggest need right now. He thought about it for quite a while and ultimately had a hard time answering. I told him that the reason I asked him is because I didn’t know the answer either.

You could say a guard, but we supposedly have our “point guard of the future” and a pretty good backup in Burke. Playing at the shooting guard we have Burks and Rodney Hood: Prince of Threes who could be pretty solid very soon.

You could say small forward, but we have our white knight in Gordon Hayward and also slower, left-handed Gordon Hayward. In reality, I think Joe Ingles could get a multi-year offer from the Jazz if he keeps playing the way he has been lately. Also, you could run Rodney Hood: Prince of Threes there maybe as well.

You could say power forward or center, which is where we have a current logjam problem. Besides Kanter’s mental lapses, I don’t know what else, besides consistency, you could want here.

You could say coaching, but we finally have a young coach who actually cares about the development of his players. Also, all of his assistants are current on their income taxes.

So the answer is, the Jazz need to get better as a team. They need to learn how to put teams away, especially at home. They need to learn that when someone gets in your face, you get in their face. They need to learn pride and focus; tenacity and passion. They need to learn that offense gets you on SportsCenter, but defense wins games.

 

Q: Do you think each Jazz player has a guilty pleasure song?

– @artdirector_g

Great question! I know for a fact that I do and it’s Tommy Page’s “I’ll Be Your Everything.” 2

Here is a list of each Jazz player and their guilty pleasure song:

  • Trey Burke – “Back it Up!” by Inevitability.
  • Dante Exum – An Australian song called, “My Dingo and Me.”
  • Enes Kanter – A Turkish song called “Bu Yağmurlar,” which translated means “Yag’s my Boo,” which is hip hop for “Yag is my girlfriend.” (Yag is a common girl’s name in Turkey.)
  • Rudy Gobert – It’s a French song called, “Etrangère au Paradis,” which translated means, “I’ll Strangle You in Paradise,” which is a fairly violent love song.
  • Derrick Favors – “Slam That Thang!” by The Don’t Lay It Ups.
  • Trevor Booker – “Simmer Down” by The Wailing Wailers.
  • Alec Burks – “Put Your Head on My Shoulder” by the Houdini’s.
  • Rodney Hood – “Footloose” by the Plantar Fashies. He is also a huge fan of the “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” soundtrack.
  • Joe Ingles – An Australian song called, “Barbie-Wrapped Dingo,” which translated into American means “Hold my hand at the post office.” (It doesn’t translate well.)
  • Raul Neto – A Brazilian song called, “Sou Melhor do que Pensa.”
  • Jeremy Evans – “Braces are Off!” by Subway Artists.
  • Steve Novak – “Never Benched Over 120” by Skinny Pete and the Shooters.
  • Ian Clark – “Let’s Hear It for the Boy” by Deniece Williams. She goes by “D-Will” for short.
  • Elijah Millsap – “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother” by The Paulies.
  • Chris Johnson – “Who are You?” by The Who.

——-

Thanks for all the questions this week, guys! Keep them coming!

Jimbo Rudding

Jimbo Rudding

I am a typical Jazz fan. I think Jordan pushed off, Derek Fisher lied, Bavetta cost us at least one game in the Finals, we should have drafted Tony Parker instead of Raul Lopez, and there will never be anything better than the Stockton to Malone days. I, along with Spencer Campbell @SCampbellSBN, started the first and longest-running Utah Jazz podcast on earth. I enjoy the in-of-doors and telling people a better way of doing whatever it is they're currently doing.
Jimbo Rudding

4 Comments

  1. Paul Johnson says:

    I think the Jazz currently have a need for Stanley Johnson–a wing who can play tenacious perimeter defense, and yet, can also play offense (those guys are as rare as hens teeth–whatever that means). He’s #1 on my Jazz-draft-wish-list.

    • Mewko says:

      I agree Paul. We need a defensive stopper. We’ve had Hayward playing that role, guarding the best perimeter player of the opponent. He’s not cut out for that role, but has to do it because the Jazz are so thin.
      The Blazers (Wes Matthews), Warriors (Klay Thompson), Rockets (Trevor Ariza), Pacers (Paul George), and Spurs (Kawhi Leonard) have what I’d call “LeBron Stoppers”. Defensively, Hayward isn’t quite in their category, so a 2-way 2 guard that can pop the 3 would really help.

      Don’t throw Alec Burks out of the conversation. Before he went down, his on ball defense was good, but as soon as he played off-the-ball defense, he struggled. If he puts the pieces together defensively, than that problem is solved. We just won’t know that until he returns this fall.

  2. Paul Johnson says:

    The Jazz should have Ingles and Hayward get the same haircut and display the exact same facial hair, and then have Ingles wear #50 (although #2 is pretty good, if they could put “02” on the jersey)–just to mess with other team’s heads.

  3. Taylor says:

    Did you intentionally leave out a Gordon Hayward guilty pleasure song? I’m thinking White and Nerdy due to his League of Legends history.

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