Jimbo’s Mailbag – Is Harpring Being Replaced?

Welcome to the next edition of Jimbo’s Mailbag! At Salt City Hoops, we know that covering a losing team without any humor can be dreary. As such, we decided to add a little bit more levity to our site via Jimbo’s unique outlook on the world of Jazz basketball. Interested in submitting a question to Jimbo’s mailbag? Email it to Jimbo at mailbag@saltcityhoops.com or tweet @JimboRudding to appear.

Q: I would love to see guest color commentators with Bolerjack. Maybe Memo or Sloan or the Piano Guys. Who’s on your list?

– @Bardenpembleton

It’s like you know I LOVE to make lists!

I’m not as down on Harpring as a lot of Jazz fans seem to be. Sure he’s quirky at times, but I love that he knows the plays (particularly the out of bounds plays) and he can tell you where things went wrong or right in certain scenarios.

That being said, I wouldn’t be opposed to the occasional guest commentator now and then. So, here is a list of a few people I would like to sit and talk with Bolerjack during games:

• Tina Turner – as long as she agrees to sing a few lines of “Simply the Best” during the broadcast.
• The guy in “the truck” who apparently no one can stump.
• Allen Handy – so he can announce how old he is and then promptly explain himself.
• Maybe a Les Olsen Company service technician.
• Andris Beidrins – so that we all know he is alive and in good spirits.
• Ronnie Brewer – so that we can find out what the deal is with that funky arm.
• The guy who pretends to play the electric guitar in the Big O Tires commercials.

The point is, anyone above would be better than that Questar Gas guy they make us listen to during Green Week every year.

Q:  Is there anything more awkward than someone moaning and grunting in a public bathroom?

– @Big_Unit35

I’m not sure what this has to do with the Utah Jazz, but as long as we’re on the subject, I would have to agree that this ranks up there with that S & S Roofing commercial.

Q: Do you think the Jazz should leave guys open on the perimeter? You know, just to see how it goes?

– @artdirector_g

Ha ha! Great question! That seems to be the problem for the first two games so far, doesn’t it? Hopefully they’ll figure out how to stop giving up open shots soon.

To be fair, I don’t remember a year where the Jazz were all that great at perimeter defense. Jerry Sloan was always a “play the percentages” kind of guy and would rather you guard the rim and let them take the long jump shot. You’re right, though, something needs to be addressed in that area of their defensive planning.

Q: Have you seen Andris Beidrins around town lately?

– @Mikeyvp

Funny you should ask that, because I have seen him lately. Here is where the Beege has been hangin:

• I saw him at the Strangling Brothers Haunted Circus in Draper. He was selling kebabs and cider to people in line.
• I ran into him at a Halloween party in West Valley. He was dressed as Darth Maul, but his black robe only went to his kneecaps.
• He and John Lucas III were spotted playing hacky sack at Pioneer park.
• He was staying at a Motel 6 in Hurricane. When I asked what he was doing there he said (in his VERY heavy Latvian accent), “I want make visit because I never see hurricane before.”
• I saw him manning a mall kiosk selling the “Latvi-tan,” which is chestnut spray paint he is selling as a new type of spray tan.
• Last week we ran into each other at Chili’s. He was going to town on some quesadillas while sitting alone in a booth and reading Where the Red Fern Grows.

Q:  After watching the first two games, what are your thoughts on the Jazz season now?

– @SCampbellSBN

Good question. I don’t think any NBA team should ever be down by 30 in the first half, EVER. I know they’re young, they have a new coach, they’re learning a new system, Novak looks like a grown-up Caillou, and they haven’t played together much, but that doesn’t mean you can forget to have dignity.

I think, for me, a lot of this season is going to be DVRed. And when I say “DVRed,” I mean I’ll zip through commercials, free throws, halftime, every time they show Alema and Thurl, any time they mention what is going to be on Root Sports, whenever Hayward turns the ball over and I get upset that he can eat at the Cheesecake Factory anytime he wants and not have to eat hot dogs the rest of the week, and the postgame show.

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Thanks for the questions this week. Remember, if you’d like to submit a question for next week’s mailbag, just send me a tweet @jimborudding or an email at saltcityhoopsmailbag@gmail.com.