Jimbo’s Mailbag – Jazz Fan’s “Most Hated Players” List

April 17th, 2015 | by Jimbo Rudding
(Photo by Bart Young/NBAE via Getty Images)

(Photo by Bart Young/NBAE via Getty Images)

Welcome to the next edition of Jimbo’s Mailbag! At Salt City Hoops, we know that covering a losing team without any humor can be dreary. As such, we decided to add a little bit more levity to our site via Jimbo’s unique outlook on the world of Jazz basketball. Jimbo, by virtue of being recently featured in the Deseret News, is now the world’s most famous Utah-based basketball mailbag artist. Interested in submitting a question to Jimbo’s mailbag? Email it to Jimbo at mailbag@saltcityhoops.com or tweet @JimboRudding to appear.

Q: Do you want Hot Rod Hundley haunting your house? 

@boneyfuller

Hot Rod would definitely make a haunted house a haunted home.

Hot Rod is a legend, plain and simple. We as Jazz fans didn’t realize how great he was at his job until he was gone. Sure, he drank a little…and then some more, but we all need to stay warm somehow, right?

Seriously though, I miss the way Hot Rod would call a game. He never worried about the little non-basketball mumbo jumbo that we all seem to concern ourselves with nowadays. When he spoke, it was to tell you exactly what he was seeing on the court. He didn’t concern us with Thurl Bailey’s three-point percentage in the left corner on Wednesday nights. Not that there’s anything wrong with that stat, but if I’m listening to the game, I only want to know a handful of things, like: What’s the score? Whose ball is it? How much time is left? Do I have any real estate friends? If so, at which credit union am I most likely to find them?

I always loved how he would speed-talk through the marketing slogans as fast as he could so that he could get back to calling the game. He knew what the fan wanted to hear, probably because he was a fan himself.

I’m gonna miss that guy. Just like a lot of Jazz fans, he was the voice of my childhood. I’ll miss the “Hippity hops” and the “Frozen ropes.” I’ll miss “good if it goes” and “You’re lookin lives.” But most of all, I’ll miss “You gotta love it, baby.” Because I DO love it and I loved him.

Rest in peace Hot Rod.

 

Q: Why doesn’t corn digest like everything else?

@BacherRandy

Man, if I had the answer to this, I would probably get back on my all-corn diet again.

 

Q: All time starting Jazz hatred five…Kanter, Fisher, Josh Smith, Dennis Rodman, Jason Hart?

@bobbEdigital

I love this question more than almost any I’ve ever received. I should send you a plaque or something.

I think you got some of this right. Kanter, Fisher, and Rodman are definitely locks to be in the starting five. The problem is, I don’t think that five players is enough. Therefore, I propose a full 15-man roster of players who Jazz fans love to hate. Here we go:

  1. Enes Kanter – What a bozo. First you demand a trade from an improving team in which you are a starter, then once that team grants your trade request, you straight-up diss them in the media. I love how he calls the Utah Jazz “unprofessional,” as he is publicly ridiculing them. I mean, the Jazz let Derek Fisher (see number 2), a starter on a team that just went to the Western Conference Finals, out of his contract.
  2. Derek Fisher – Derek Fisher lied to the Jazz, Rockets, and Mavericks to get out of his contracts. Not only that, but he lied to all of our hearts when he gave us what could have been one of the top 3 greatest Jazz moments of all time after his heroic performance in the 2007 playoffs.
  3. Dennis Rodman – Jazz fans hate this guy after what he said about Mormons and after he married himself and after he changed his hair and after he married Carmen Electra and after he got all the tattoos and after the nose ring and after…
  4. Derek Harper – “You go live in Utah.”
  5. Rony Seikaly – When you are traded to Utah and you never show up in Utah, you become hated.
  6. Kobe Bryant – Self-explanatory. He’s just the worst, am I right?
  7. Dirk Nowitzki – “Utah is a bad city.”
  8. Hakeem Olajuwon – I guess he’s a nice guy, but he traveled pretty much any time he touched the ball.
  9. Tracy McGrady – We beat this guy in the playoffs so much that it made him really drowsy.
  10. Carlos Boozer – OK, I’m not the biggest Boozer hater, but dude is weird. Every time he “heard a pop” while doing something you could bet he’d be out for at least a month and a half. Also, remember when he played defense? Me neither.
  11. Jason Hart/Brevin Knight/Milt Palacio – Poor Captain Crunch and… Captain Crunch’s little brothers. Would I have loved to have had a better back-up point guards back then? Sure. Did I wish they wouldn’t always try and go one-on-one at the end of quarters? Yes. Do I love asking myself questions? All the time.
  12. Deron Williams – I don’t quite understand the hatred for D-Will the player. I loved watching him play and for a few years he was regarded as the best point guard in the NBA. Then he was surly to me at an autograph signing, I wrote a strongly worded letter, and he was eventually traded. Unfortunately for him, he’s not even a shell of his former self. He’s like a thin candy shell inside a shell of his former self.
  13. Carmelo Anthony – Melo’s people of Utah commercial.
  14. Delonte West/Matt Barnes/JR Smith – These guys combine to create what I like to call the “too many tattoos” guy. Every once in a while we get stuck watching a Jazz game with a parent or grandparent who spends the entire game saying things like, “All those tattoos make him look SO ugly.” This one’s for you, grandma.
  15. Jim Les – No real reason why Jim Les is on this list. I just needed another name and I couldn’t think of anyone. Plus I’ve started a new goal to mention Jim Les in every mailbag from now on.

 

Q: If there is one player on the Jazz that resembles Neo from the Matrix, who is it and why?

@_The_Beef

I guess whichever one knows kung fu?

Unless there is a major trade this summer, for now our “one” is Gordon Hayward. I don’t technically think that Gordon can carry the Jazz to a championship by himself like Lebron and Shaq did 1, but with the right pieces around him there’s no reason why he couldn’t be the leader on a Detroit Pistons circa 2004-type of a championship team.

————–

Thanks for all the questions, you guys!

Jimbo Rudding

Jimbo Rudding

I am a typical Jazz fan. I think Jordan pushed off, Derek Fisher lied, Bavetta cost us at least one game in the Finals, we should have drafted Tony Parker instead of Raul Lopez, and there will never be anything better than the Stockton to Malone days. I, along with Spencer Campbell @SCampbellSBN, started the first and longest-running Utah Jazz podcast on earth. I enjoy the in-of-doors and telling people a better way of doing whatever it is they're currently doing.
Jimbo Rudding

5 Comments

  1. Scandium says:

    When did Lebron and Shaq lead the Jazz to a championship?

  2. Peter says:

    Not even a mention of Mark Jackson for Most Hated? Guy tried to lead an uprising against Stockton/Malone/Sloan.

  3. Ostertag's Barber says:

    As a Jazz fan, this post is cringeworthy. It’s embarrassing.

    Oh heavens *clutchmypearls* he has…TATTOOS??? In the NBA?? Won’t someone think of the children?! (Or intolerant grandmas?) A grown man, with a platform to represent the Jazz Fam, just listed tattoos as a legit reason to hate a player…in the NBA. Hi Jimbo, you were named after the wrong Simpson’s character. Dear Sister Lovejoy, can I call you Helen? I hate Matt Barnes – the epitome of a PAB – as much as any reasonable person should (he’s the worst), but JR Smith? No lie, he’s an incredibly entertaining player to watch. If his mental aptitude matched his athletic abilities, he’d be one of the greats. Instead, he’s untying the competition’s shoelaces and sprinkling surprise killer plays throughout generally mediocre performances. Still fun to watch, though. As far as Delonte West goes – how can you hate a guy with enough desperation to bump uglies with LeBron James’s mom? Pity him, laugh at him, then laugh at him again when he wet-willy’d our beloved poster child for innocence. I ADORE Gordon, everything about him, but I can’t knock the entertainment value of that surprise ww attack. Anyway, West was fined 25k and came off as the slow playground bully while Gordon the Exemplar maintained his dignity and put up 24.

    How is KG not on the list? Or Blake Griffin? Like anyone living outside of MN, my hatred for KG runs deeper than my already deep-as-the-Pacific hate for Matt Barnes. And I was a Griffin fan during his sophomore-rookie year, but now I hate him and not only because he flops harder than Jimmer’s NBA career. I have eyes and a heart; therefore, I love Trevor Booker as if he’s been with the Jazz for years. The man gives me the feels. Blake trying to intimidate Booker like a puppy with a loud bark in the preseason only cemented my dislike for the guy. The duo of him and CP3 flopping on the court at the same time is unbearable. I hope Popovich taps into his genius on Wednesday to out-couch and dismantle the Clips’ offense as only Pop can.

    If we’re adding names like Nowitzki and Kobe, both GOATS in their own ways, I don’t see why Jordan isn’t on the list. No one has ever dealt Jazz fans a harsher, longer-lasting blow. He may be the ultimate GOAT, but if media back then was as real-time and transparent as it is now, he’d be as hated as Kobe. He’s an ass. (For reference, check his HOF speech – the antithesis of Stockton’s.) He’s as greedy and unlikeable as Kobe, only with a better PR team. Beyond that, it’s totally within reason for Jazz fans to hate him solely for his existence that happened to coincide with our glory days of yore. Add MJ, his supernatural powers and his asshat personality to the list. Add his Hitler ‘stache, too.

    P.S. One of these names is not like the others. (Hint: It’s Hakeem Olajuwon.)

  4. Enrique Santiago says:

    Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, & Tim Duncan – the 3 reasons why the Jazz have yet to win a championship

    Dennis Rodman, Ron Artest, JR Smith, & Matt Barnes – thugs

    Mark Jackson – tool

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