Jimbo’s Mailbag – Jazz Fan’s “Most Hated Players” List

(Photo by Bart Young/NBAE via Getty Images)

Welcome to the next edition of Jimbo’s Mailbag! At Salt City Hoops, we know that covering a losing team without any humor can be dreary. As such, we decided to add a little bit more levity to our site via Jimbo’s unique outlook on the world of Jazz basketball. Jimbo, by virtue of being recently featured in the Deseret News, is now the world’s most famous Utah-based basketball mailbag artist. Interested in submitting a question to Jimbo’s mailbag? Email it to Jimbo at mailbag@saltcityhoops.com or tweet @JimboRudding to appear.

Q: Do you want Hot Rod Hundley haunting your house? 

@boneyfuller

Hot Rod would definitely make a haunted house a haunted home.

Hot Rod is a legend, plain and simple. We as Jazz fans didn’t realize how great he was at his job until he was gone. Sure, he drank a little…and then some more, but we all need to stay warm somehow, right?

Seriously though, I miss the way Hot Rod would call a game. He never worried about the little non-basketball mumbo jumbo that we all seem to concern ourselves with nowadays. When he spoke, it was to tell you exactly what he was seeing on the court. He didn’t concern us with Thurl Bailey’s three-point percentage in the left corner on Wednesday nights. Not that there’s anything wrong with that stat, but if I’m listening to the game, I only want to know a handful of things, like: What’s the score? Whose ball is it? How much time is left? Do I have any real estate friends? If so, at which credit union am I most likely to find them?

I always loved how he would speed-talk through the marketing slogans as fast as he could so that he could get back to calling the game. He knew what the fan wanted to hear, probably because he was a fan himself.

I’m gonna miss that guy. Just like a lot of Jazz fans, he was the voice of my childhood. I’ll miss the “Hippity hops” and the “Frozen ropes.” I’ll miss “good if it goes” and “You’re lookin lives.” But most of all, I’ll miss “You gotta love it, baby.” Because I DO love it and I loved him.

Rest in peace Hot Rod.

Q: Why doesn’t corn digest like everything else?

@BacherRandy

Man, if I had the answer to this, I would probably get back on my all-corn diet again.

Q: All time starting Jazz hatred five…Kanter, Fisher, Josh Smith, Dennis Rodman, Jason Hart?

@bobbEdigital

I love this question more than almost any I’ve ever received. I should send you a plaque or something.

I think you got some of this right. Kanter, Fisher, and Rodman are definitely locks to be in the starting five. The problem is, I don’t think that five players is enough. Therefore, I propose a full 15-man roster of players who Jazz fans love to hate. Here we go:

1. Enes Kanter – What a bozo. First you demand a trade from an improving team in which you are a starter, then once that team grants your trade request, you straight-up diss them in the media. I love how he calls the Utah Jazz “unprofessional,” as he is publicly ridiculing them. I mean, the Jazz let Derek Fisher (see number 2), a starter on a team that just went to the Western Conference Finals, out of his contract.
2. Derek Fisher – Derek Fisher lied to the Jazz, Rockets, and Mavericks to get out of his contracts. Not only that, but he lied to all of our hearts when he gave us what could have been one of the top 3 greatest Jazz moments of all time after his heroic performance in the 2007 playoffs.
3. Dennis Rodman – Jazz fans hate this guy after what he said about Mormons and after he married himself and after he changed his hair and after he married Carmen Electra and after he got all the tattoos and after the nose ring and after…
4. Derek Harper – “You go live in Utah.”
5. Rony Seikaly – When you are traded to Utah and you never show up in Utah, you become hated.
6. Kobe Bryant – Self-explanatory. He’s just the worst, am I right?
7. Dirk Nowitzki – “Utah is a bad city.”
8. Hakeem Olajuwon – I guess he’s a nice guy, but he traveled pretty much any time he touched the ball.
9. Tracy McGrady – We beat this guy in the playoffs so much that it made him really drowsy.
10. Carlos Boozer – OK, I’m not the biggest Boozer hater, but dude is weird. Every time he “heard a pop” while doing something you could bet he’d be out for at least a month and a half. Also, remember when he played defense? Me neither.
11. Jason Hart/Brevin Knight/Milt Palacio – Poor Captain Crunch and… Captain Crunch’s little brothers. Would I have loved to have had a better back-up point guards back then? Sure. Did I wish they wouldn’t always try and go one-on-one at the end of quarters? Yes. Do I love asking myself questions? All the time.
12. Deron Williams – I don’t quite understand the hatred for D-Will the player. I loved watching him play and for a few years he was regarded as the best point guard in the NBA. Then he was surly to me at an autograph signing, I wrote a strongly worded letter, and he was eventually traded. Unfortunately for him, he’s not even a shell of his former self. He’s like a thin candy shell inside a shell of his former self.
13. Carmelo Anthony – Melo’s people of Utah commercial.
14. Delonte West/Matt Barnes/JR Smith – These guys combine to create what I like to call the “too many tattoos” guy. Every once in a while we get stuck watching a Jazz game with a parent or grandparent who spends the entire game saying things like, “All those tattoos make him look SO ugly.” This one’s for you, grandma.
15. Jim Les – No real reason why Jim Les is on this list. I just needed another name and I couldn’t think of anyone. Plus I’ve started a new goal to mention Jim Les in every mailbag from now on.

Q: If there is one player on the Jazz that resembles Neo from the Matrix, who is it and why?

@_The_Beef

I guess whichever one knows kung fu?

Unless there is a major trade this summer, for now our “one” is Gordon Hayward. I don’t technically think that Gordon can carry the Jazz to a championship by himself like Lebron and Shaq did ¹, but with the right pieces around him there’s no reason why he couldn’t be the leader on a Detroit Pistons circa 2004-type of a championship team.

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Thanks for all the questions, you guys!