Here at Salt City Hoops, we’re occasionally accused of being too analytical. Basketball is a fun sport, they say, and we’re being too objective about it. Jumbo Rudding, on the other hand, is not analytical. He is zany. He is infamous for his out-of-left-field basketball jokes and opinions. We’re thrilled to have him contribute a mailbag each week on Salt City Hoops. Interested in submitting a question to Jimbo’s mailbag? Email it to Jimbo at firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet @JimboRudding to appear.
Q: If you could go back in time and warn one member of the Jazz about anything; when, what about, and who would you tell?
This is an awesome question. Seriously, I love this question so much that I almost feel like I could awkwardly ask it out on a date and then nervously tell it about my dreams of becoming a helicopter pilot.
I guess if I could warn one member of the Jazz about something, I would have to go with Kevin O’Connor. He’s been “the guy” ever since the Finals losses and I assume all of the decision-making in regards to team roster ultimately fell on his shoulders.
Here is a list of things I would warn Kevin O’Connor about if I could go back in time:
Those are the big ones. Let me know if I missed some.
Q: Was stoked for Karl Malone to influence the bigs, but no LA Gear, running w/parachutes, or speaking 3rd person by Rudy and Favors. What gives?
Maybe Karl Malone hasn’t spent enough time with the bigs yet? I would bet speaking in the third person isn’t like when your southern accent comes back the second you go back to the south. It just takes more time than we think. We need to be more patient.
What I would LOVE to have happen is for Karl to come down before the season starts and smack Tibor Pleiss around a little bit just to toughen him up. I don’t want Karl to hurt him, but whatever Karl does, I think it would be beneficial to put a TON of stank on it.
I don’t have anything against Tibor… yet. Like all rookie bigs, I’m sure his biggest criticism once the season starts will be that he’s not strong enough and needs to gain weight and toughness. Malone can definitely help with that; it just may take a season or two. Let’s just say I don’t anticipate Bolerjack and Harpring screaming “The PLEISS IS RIGHT!” or “BIG TOBLERONE THROWS IT DOWN!” anytime this season.
Q: Your top 10 Jazz-related commercials? Top 10 most irrationally beloved Jazzmen? Top 10 Jim Les highlights?
Wow, so many top 10 lists to choose from. I don’t think I can even remember 10 Jazz commercials, so I guess I’ll take top 10 most irrationally beloved Jazzmen.
Now, before all three of you reading this get all hot under the collar about the players I chose, you have to first understand that love causes all of us to be irrational every now and then. One time in second grade I had a crush on a girl in my class so I threw one of her shoes on the roof of the school. Couldn’t explain it then, can’t explain it now.
I too was, and still am to some extent, still “in love” with some of these players — or at least with the memories they left behind. So, without further adiéauxeáo, here is my list and further explanation of who I think are the most irrationally beloved Jazzmen:
I will say that one player Jazz fans have an irrational hate for is Greg Ostertag. I understand a little bit of the disdain for Greg because he could’ve been great if he had enjoyed the game of basketball and/or worked hard. However, I think Ostertag wasn’t as bad as people remember. He was a big body in the paint on defense, blocking or altering a ton of shots and making it hard for teams to score. He was also a big body out of the paint on offense, facilitating the Stockton to Malone pick and roll.
Let me conclude this by reminding you that you should take all of this with a grain of salt because I don’t know how the NBA really works nor do I know a whole lot about basketball.
Q: What do you think Kevin O’Conner is actually doing now that Dennis Lindsey is around?
I’m glad you asked this. I too have been wondering what he is up to now that his old duties are being handled by someone else. I would probably guess he is doing what we all would be doing if we had extra time on our hands — watching Netflix, eating brownies, and learning how to play the banjo.
Thanks for the questions, everybody! I really appreciate all of you who read till the end. It was a great mailbag, wouldn’t you say? One for our posterity to cherish!