Q: What could motivate Dante to go for a lay-up after a drive into the lane?
GREAT question, Steve! I too am getting tired of Dante’s timid play this year. I know he is young and doesn’t want to make mistakes, but if there’s a great time to learn from your errors, it’s this season. If I were Coach Snyder, I would pull him into my office and have a heart to heart that would go something like this:
SNYDER: Dante, how are you?
EXUM: Fine coach, how’s your flickuh?
SNYDER: Flickuh? NO! You’re in the US of A, Dante. Cut the Australian talk!
SNYDER: Listen, you need to take the ball to the rim more and try to score.
EXUM: But I’m scared. What if I get rodgered?
EXUM: I mean, what if I get stuffed and turn the ball over?
SNYDER: That doesn’t matter! You’re quicker than 80% of the guys guarding you. Go hard and you’ll either get fouled, score, or turn the ball over. Any of those outcomes is fine with me.
EXUM: Yeah, but I’m still a little nervous about it.
SNYDER: That’s fine, but just know that every time you go to the rim, I can guarantee there will be a box of Jujyfruits in your locker.
EXUM: Those are my favorite!
SNYDER: I know.
EXUM: Thanks for helping me out, coach. Would it be ok if I gave you a wedgie right now?
EXUM: It means “hug” in Australia.
SNYDER: I thought I told you no more Australian?!
As far as what would motivate him to go up and challenge people at the rim, I’m not entirely sure. Maybe if his mother (or whomever is his legal guardian right now) promises to allow him to stay up until 10:30 p.m. on a weeknight?
Q: My bracket is busted. My 3-year-old dropped it. Any ideas for good Jazz-related bracket names?
I know what you mean. I just lost $500 on the Hampton loss alone. Lesson learned, I guess.
I don’t get too much into the college basketball game. It’s too crowded and sloppy for me. I just get tired of watching four guys pass the ball around the three-point line for 30 seconds while one big ugly white guy runs back and forth on the baseline. Usually the early tournament games are won by whichever team can shoot threes in pressure games…and that’s it. For that alone, I say BORING.
As far as bracket names go, how about these:
Q: Do you think Brandon Rush will get his number retired?
At this point, why not? He had a couple of nice dribbles while he was here.
When it comes to retiring jerseys/numbers, I think we go a little overboard in Utah. If it were up to me, there would be five jerseys in the rafters: Karl, John, Jerry, Pistol, and Larry.
Brandon Rush was a huge disappointment in terms of me wanting him to be really good and the Jazz to win a championship. Coming off an ACL is never easy, but I loved his game in Golden State and thought for sure he would at least be 80% of what he was pre-injury. Instead, he couldn’t get off the bench on a team where Marvin Williams was starting at power forward. You see, it’s just that…Ty Corbin couldn’t…I mean, Big Al’s defense…(long, dramatic sigh)…let’s just all forget the last three to five years of Jazz basketball. Sound good to you?
Q: I heard you are the key target for the LHM group board of directors. Does that mean you won’t be selling quilts anymore?
Oh no, I’ll always sell my quilts. Mom’s been putting in long hours this winter and we’ve acquired some pretty sizable booth slots at some of Utah’s finest boutiques. Needless to say, this summer is going to be what we in the quilting business call a “Thread-bear.”
Not to be prideful, but I’ve heard rumors that my name is being included in the discussions for board of directors. I am ecstatic at the thought of even being mentioned for such a prestigious position and I just want to say that, if elected, I promise to do my best, to do my duty, to Jazz and my country. Because in the course of basketball events, it becomes necessary for a fandom to dissolve the Corbin bands which have hampered progression.
(Cue The Battle Hymn of the Republic)
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all fans are created equal, that they are endowed by the Millers with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are kettle corn, churros, and chocolate mints handed out at the door after a win.
Q: Do you think Quin Snyder has ever gotten so angry that he threw up?
If so, I would guess he wouldn’t coach a game without having a bag or small garbage can around.
There’s been a few times this year where he’ll make an angry face and I have to turn my face away from the TV until it’s over. I can picture him threatening the players during practice by saying things like, “We either run this play right or the demons come out!” At least, that’s how I would use my anger powers.
It would be pretty cool if his voice got progressively deeper whenever he became extremely angry. Like when he calls a time out and he pulls Trey aside and says, “I thought I told you to NEVER GO UNDER THE SCREEN AGAINST HIM!?!?” I don’t know. That scene is a lot cooler in my head than typed. Just, FYI.
I’d hate to see that stare aimed at me. The only way to respond to it would be either to just stare back, look away, or open your eyes wide and give him a half-smile while not breaking eye contact. I would most-likely choose the latter.
Thanks for the questions you guys!