Jimbo’s Mailbag: Why Everyone Hates Gordon Hayward

August 28th, 2015 | by Jimbo Rudding
(Photo by Melissa Majchrzak/NBAE via Getty Images)

(Photo by Melissa Majchrzak/NBAE via Getty Images)

Q: Which player will snap during a game this year and commit a flagrant foul against Hayward a la Aaron Afflalo and Delonte West?

@Mare_Bear_Baum

Great question! Also, congrats on the pregnancy, Maren!

I think it’s hilarious that Gordon Hayward has a knack for making so many opposing players angry. Gordon plays hard and wants to win, but I haven’t noticed anything overly dirty about his game. I guess when he first started playing in the NBA other players didn’t expect him to be as good as he was or play as hard as he does. Hey, that rhymes! I’m a poet and I had no idea!

While thinking about your question, I decided that there was probably a need to give the uneducated reader a history of Gordon’s run-ins with others:

  • In September of 2010, Gordon didn’t acknowledge me when I patted him on the shoulder at a dodge ball tournament and said, “Welcome to Utah!” I have since forgiven Gordon for this, but I am still furious with myself whenever I reflect on “Patty-gate,” which is how I refer to it while reminiscing with friends, family, and my cats.
  • In October of 2010, Gordon’s third NBA game, Deron Williams got so upset with Gordon when he didn’t run through the paint on a semi-fast break that he threw the ball at him. Great decision by a great leader!
  • In December of 2011, Gordon was the recipient of an overly aggressive high-five from Josh Howard to which he replied, “Owie! That hurt my hand.” It should be noted that this hasn’t been confirmed by anyone in the Jazz organization. I’m only stating what I saw on the broadcast and it should also be noted that I’m relying heavily on my lackluster lip-reading skills.
  • In March of 2012, Aaron Afflalo elbowed Gordon in the face resulting in an immediate rejection and one-game suspension.
  • In April of 2012, Delonte West gave Gordon arguably the most famous wet willy ever given in the state of Utah. There have been rumors that a pretty egregious wet willy was given on the set of “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” back in 1969, but Robert Redford has never commented on it publicly.

I’m all for Gordon continuing to get under the skin of players. It is simply evidence that he is playing hard and wants to win. As long as he acknowledges me when I pat him on the shoulder, he can do whatever he wants.

 

Q: Remember Kelly Tripucka? Apparently his dad was an NFL QB. Do you know any other Jazz players with athletic dads and their sports?

@FloppyHat56

Ahhh Kelly Tripuka. He and Mark Jackson should get together and have a “We’re better than Stockton and Malone” party. For a guy who was traded for Adrian Dantley, I guess it makes sense that he would have a giant ego. However, I looked up his stats and he averaged nine points in two seasons with the Jazz. Not what I would call “stellar.” I hear the Jazz ARE considering retiring his number this season though, so that’s good.

I had no idea his dad was an NFL quarterback. Good for his dad! I guess I should have known because he played for the Chicago Cardinals alongside Daren Glinkborf, who was one of my grandpa’s favorite defensive lineman backs of all time. “Never mess with the Glink!” grandpa would always say.

I’m glad you asked about other Jazz player’s dads. I’ve done hours of research and found out that many former Jazz players have fathers who were VERY successful, both athletically and non-athletically. Here are the results of my research:

  • Jim Les’ dad was pretty good at a sport called “Dork-ball.” It’s not a very well-known sport.
  • Olden Polynice’s dad excelled at charades, which makes sense because Olden was exceptional at pretending to be a police officer.
  • Luther Wright’s dad was good at the opposite of curling, which is setting garbage cans on fire.
  • Robert Whaley’s dad was an avid storyteller. He was well known for making up horror stories about little kids stabbing adults in the hand with a dagger.
  • Carlos Boozer’s dad was a yodeler. Also, he made Carlos eat his cereal with his left hand.
  • Ronnie Brewer’s dad was a pretty good swimmer. In fact, he would take his kids to the water park all the time.
  • Derek Fisher’s dad was an actor on Broadway.
  • Mark Jackson’s dad was a TON better at basketball than Mark.
  • Mehmet Okur’s father was a hairdresser.

The internet is an amazing resource when you want to find information that is entirely not even close to being true. Happy Father’s Day!

 

Q: What is a worse fashion choice? Pleated pants or pegged jeans?

@Big_Unit35

I love this question because it’s like you are psychic and know exactly what I’m wearing right now (pleated, pegged jeans). What are you wearing?

I don’t think I’m qualified to ever give fashion advice because one time I wore Bermuda shorts with my cub scout uniform to day camp. Yes, there ARE pictures, but they’re in a safety deposit box somewhere in the Midwest.

If, for some reason, a person stole all my Garbage Pail Kids cards and told me if I ever wanted to see them again I had to choose either pleated pants or pegged jeans to wear every day for a year, I’d go with the pegged jeans. Even though they look hideous, pegged jeans are perfect for hiding Jolly Ranchers from your teacher.

 

Q: Does the NBA have an honor code? What would one need to do for a year suspension? Also, do you have any Rusty LaRue gear?

@JimmerFrodette

The NBA SHOULD have an honor code. It would definitely clean the game up if there was one.

If I were in charge, the NBA honor code would be one page, with a single sentence and a line for the player to sign their name. The sentence would simply say, “I hereby promise to not be a turd and do turdish things.” That oughta do it.

While I understand that everyone makes mistakes, I also know that sometimes people just choose to be turds. For example, one time my Uncle Dale threw half of his banana split at our sliding glass door because my Aunt Carol was telling everyone at our family barbecue about the time he got sick inside a Fed Ex Kinko’s. We all get angry from time to time, but he CHOSE to throw his dessert and ruin the barbecue. That, to me, is the epitome of turdish behavior.

Below is a list of actions that would mitigate a one-year suspension if I were in charge of the NBA honor code:

  • Not signing autographs for kids when time permits.
  • Missing an unnecessary dunk.
  • Trying to make a fancy pass when a fundamental pass would’ve sufficed.
  • Not standing up for yourself when Blake Griffin is being a turd.
  • Excessive mouth guard chewing.
  • Excessive pre-game high-five routines.
  • Excessive complaining.
  • Using the word “excessive” excessively in a bulleted list.

Also, I buried all my Rusty LaRue gear in my backyard back in 2001.

—————–

Thanks for the questions, you guys! If you guessed that “turd” was the secret word of today’s mailbag, then you won! Tweet me today’s secret word at @JimboRudding and I’ll tell you what you’ve won.

Jimbo Rudding

Jimbo Rudding

I am a typical Jazz fan. I think Jordan pushed off, Derek Fisher lied, Bavetta cost us at least one game in the Finals, we should have drafted Tony Parker instead of Raul Lopez, and there will never be anything better than the Stockton to Malone days. I, along with Spencer Campbell @SCampbellSBN, started the first and longest-running Utah Jazz podcast on earth. I enjoy the in-of-doors and telling people a better way of doing whatever it is they're currently doing.
Jimbo Rudding

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *